I just became a father. My life is changed forever

Thoughts and feelings after 72 hours of fatherhood

My first child was born three days ago. I am now the proud father of a healthy, happy, and ridiculously cute baby boy. Any attempt to write down what is currently in my heart and mind will pale in comparison to everything I am feeling deep down, but I’ll do my best here. This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment and I want to capture it in writing.

My beautiful wife, Gina, went into labour on Wednesday evening last week. We suspected her water had broken the previous day (it wasn’t dramatic and immediate like in the movies), so on our doctor’s recommendation, we headed to the hospital. Without the amniotic fluid still surrounding our child to protect him from potential infection, it was better to be safe than sorry. After some examinations, they determined that the water had indeed broken, early labour had started, and our son would most likely arrive by Thursday night. Our lives were about to change forever.

What’s inside?

I had known this moment was coming for 9 months but despite all my research and questioning, I wasn’t sure how things would proceed from here. This shouldn’t surprise you, but most men don’t spend huge amounts of time considering the intricacies of labour and childbirth. We do our best to be supportive and somewhat informed, but I think for all new parents, mothers and fathers alike, uncertainty is inevitable. Beyond that, every pregnancy and birth is different, but we knew that we were in good hands — with each other, the friendly hospital staff, and most importantly, with God.

Wednesday evening was fairly uneventful. It felt like a standard hospital experience, sterile and professional. I sat on the ‘husband sofa’ in the corner and checked in with my wife periodically, as the staff monitored the vitals of both her and our baby. They reassured us that everything would be OK as we asked questions about timelines and plans of action for different scenarios. We were excited and nervous, but not fearful.

As the night progressed, Gina’s contractions became stronger and more frequent. I could tell that she was getting increasingly uncomfortable. An expectant father does his best to empathise and understand what his lady is feeling during these times. We hear the sighs, moans, and grunts, and intellectually know there must be a ton of pain and discomfort, but the truth is we’ll never know exactly what women feel during pregnancy and labour.

Childbirth will always be a mystery to even the most sympathetic male mind. Despite claims to the contrary over the past 10 years, it remains the case that no man in history has ever gotten pregnant or given birth. So, I don’t have the ‘lived experience’ to fully empathise, but I certainly sympathised. It was difficult to see and hear my wife in pain. I felt a mix of love, respect, and an overwhelming protective instinct over my wife and unborn child as the clock ticked onward.

Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, and Gina was in a lot less pain, thanks to the wonder of the modern epidural. Throughout the pregnancy, my wife had expressed a desire to do an unmedicated birth, but due to the slow progression, broken water, and intense induced contractions, we changed our minds. We are both skeptical about unnecessary medical interventions but after being reassured by our doctor and midwife that it would be best for both mom and baby, we opted for the epidural. I reminded my wife that there are no prizes for how you give birth, and the most important thing was that she and our child remain safe.

The difference with and without the pain relief was like night and day. It was great to see my wife’s smile again. I had missed it over the past 12 hours or so. My sister came to visit us that evening and the following morning, and it was wonderful to have her dote on us. Gina’s mom also came from Florida to be with us here in Dubai, to support her daughter during this life-altering phase. I’m so grateful for their love, kindness, and care. As mothers themselves, they have insight and wisdom that only comes with that experience. Having them there was really a blessing.

At around 4pm on Thursday, the midwife informed us that full dilation had been reached, and the baby would be with us within 1-2 hours! This is when it really dawned on me what was about to happen. This was the moment that most men imagine when we hear the word ‘labour’ in this context.

I felt a heightened sense of excitement. With my wife no longer in agony, it was now a waiting game on my part. Our OB-GYN entered the room to help bring our son into the world. I sent a text to our family chat to let them know their grandson/nephew/cousin would be born soon, and I received excited messages back from family in the UK, USA, Qatar, UAE, and Australia (we are spread out!)

Our lives were about to change.

After only 20 minutes of guided pushing, our baby arrived. Perfectly formed and surprisingly stoic. I saw him before his mom did, and I’ll never forget the relief, joy, gratitude, amazement, and pride I felt in that moment.

I’ll never forget this feeling.

As he rested on his mom’s chest, I felt an overwhelming love and confirmation of my belief in God.

I was proud of Gina for carrying our son for the past 40 weeks and enduring 22 hours of labour to bring this bundle of cuteness into the world. Beyond a little shout on his arrival, our son didn’t cry for the first hour (when he got hungry!). We were amazed by his peaceful disposition and apparent level of awareness, turning his head to respond to voices and looking directly at his mother, father, grandma, auntie (my sister arrived straight from work just five minutes after his birth), and the beaming hospital staff.

So… this is it. I’m officially a dad! Truth is, I have already been a dad for the past 9 months, but now I can see my son in his full glory with my own eyes. It’s a different feeling from only having scans and my wife’s growing belly to confirm his existence. And wow, I am so thankful :)

As I write this, it’s been three days since my son was born and I love him immensely. He is ridiculously cute and I can already see my wife’s and my features reflected in him. I also feel a more profound love and appreciation for my wife, Gina. She has taken to motherhood so well. I knew that she would, but how instantly it happened is remarkable.

So, how is fatherhood so far? I will say that it feels how I expected it to. As the youngest of five children, I have been fortunate to already have been an uncle for eighteen years and to have ten wonderful nieces and nephews. Having seen all of my siblings go through this process, and playing an active role in the lives of their children, perhaps I’m a little less ‘green’ than first-time fathers who didn’t get to experience being an uncle before fatherhood.

With that said, of course being a father is a significantly greater responsibility than being an uncle. I don’t underestimate that my life has just changed, profoundly and permanently. And I’m extremely excited to open this new chapter.

Whilst this current moment is amazing, the major mindset shifts that I’ve heard other fathers speak about had already occurred with my knowledge of the pregnancy, and been solidified by the first scan at around 12 weeks. For me personally, that is when the ‘switch’ flipped. It didn’t take my son’s physical birth for me to know that I now have a child in this world. My thinking and decision making has been running through that filter for the past 9 months.

Fatherhood creates a boundless sense of responsibility and duty, combined with the purest joy and appreciation. My spectrum of emotions and potential life experiences is now bigger and brighter. I embrace the experience with a smile on my face and great optimism.

Throughout the days and nights, I now find myself periodically watching my son for minutes at a time and smiling. He is such a delight. I was already blessed and happy pre-fatherhood, and I feel more blessed and even happier since the birth of my son.

From now on, the highs of life will be even higher, and the lows perhaps lower. A part of my heart now exists outside of me, both as a husband and as a father. I don’t take any of it for granted.

Thank you, God.

And welcome to the world, my son. I will love you, guide you, and protect you forever.

So grateful.

(Sunday 18th May 2025)

I woke up like this.